[gv data=”TAjn3bKZqAw”][/gv]More here, here, and here. Brain seriously completely asploded.
(via metafilter)
Yesterday I picked up the very excellent second volume of Wholphin at my local independent hipster bookstore. I threw the thing into my Playstation 2, loaded it up, and the menu splashed across the screen: 15 weird short films to choose against a Donald Trump background. I couldn’t decide which one to watch. As I flipped through the accompanying booklet, reading a little bit about each short, all of the sudden the menu fell away and the Donald started looking around, seemingly unsure about his timing. Then he started to talk about the major thematic elements in Citizen Kane and my brain exploded all over the couch. Errol Morris is my fucking hero.
(link)
When I read the other day about the Indian government blocking out blogs I was like “oh shit.” Where are my Indian fans going to find get important information, like how much getting an extra Chicken McNugget rules, or all the things you can do to a dog? I thought about freedom for a little while and what it means to me. Then I realized they’re only blocking blogspot, typepad, and geocities blogs and I was like “oh.” So hey, whoever’s behind the 21 total hits I’ve received from India: don’t sweat it. In the aftermath of the Mumbai train bombings, freedom of information is more important than ever. That’s why we can’t let the government keep you from looking at photoshopped Lockhorns cartoons. And we won’t. Not on my watch, anyway.
The Indian Department of Telecommunications Are Being Total Douchebags Petition.
If you love freedom, you’ll sign it.
[edit: If you REALLY love freedom, you’ll repost it.]
You don’t want your daughters running around at the beach looking like a couple of whores, do you? Of course not. Thank god for WholesomeWear – a website that sells stupid-looking waterproof dresses. Citing a “need for modesty in swimwear,” WholesomeWear bathing suits “highlight the face rather than the body.” What are these people gonna do at the beach anyway? The kind of person who buys their daughter WholesomeWear probably won’t let them have any fun there anyway. They can’t build sandcastles cuz shovels are forbidden, and they can’t play volleyball cuz nets are for devils. Look at that chick on the right in the picture – the lake water is burning her skin. Get off my beach, you weirdos!
When I was growing up – you know, back in the 80s – if you managed to get your hands on a huge, clunky camcorder, you recorded some really dumb shit, played it back, felt instantly stupid and hid the tape behind your dresser for the next decade. These days, things are a little different. With the advent of YouTube and Google Video, people can now instantly cast those unbelievably stupid videos through the series of tubes we call the internets and out to millions and millions of people. Whether it’s a good thing or not is beyond me. All I know for sure is that it’s annoying when I’m trying to find the actual Kelly Clarkson video for “Since You’ve Been Gone” and I have to sort through a thousand videos of kids singing it in their bedrooms. You should probably just read what some dude named Lore Sjöberg has to say about it; he’s way more angry about it than I am anyway.
(link)
Try as I may, I just can’t seem to get away from dead bodies for more than an hour or two.
First I spend my entire lunch eating a sandwich and reading Mary Roach’s Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. It’s an awesome book and you should totally read it, although you may want to skip the chapter “Life After Death: On human decay and what can be done about it” if, like me, you happen to be eating a sandwich.
Then, not more than an hour after my lunch is over, I end up stumbling across the website for the Fragonard Museum. You know that Body Worlds exhibit everyone was freaking out about last year? You know how it bills plastination as this revolutionary new process? Well screw that – this French guy named Honoré Fragonard was doing that shit over 200 years ago… sort of, anyway. His work is currently collecting dust on the second floor of a veterinary school outside of Paris. The “piece,” for lack of a better word, pictured above, is called – get this – “Human Fetuses Dancing A Jig.”
(via kirchersociety.org)
This post was supposed to be called “Less Effective Hats.” It was going to have a bunch of pictures of famous hat-wearing historical figures photoshopped to be wearing, um, different hats. Hilarious, right? Well Napoleon didn’t look quite right with the trucker hat and I couldn’t quite match the greys between Abraham Lincoln and his new viking horns and you know what? I give up. There was one that I thought was kind of funny, though, which I will now post for your viewing pleasure.
What unexpected juxtaposition! Delightful! You want more? Fine. Here’s a bonus prize: a video of a narcoleptic daschund.
[gv data=”http://www.youtube.com/v/CY5PMT-_rLg”][/gv]
“what are you, some kind of wizard?”
“what is the most pot tupac smoked at one time”
“matthew barney sucks”
“teeth filed like fangs”
People talk a lot about how America is about to be unseated as the dominant global superpower, citing the falling value of the American dollar, our dependence on foreign oil, an ever-rising deficit and a crumbling Social Security system, but you know what? You don’t have to pay any attention to any of that. All you have to do is look at Kobayashi and you’ll know we’re fucked. Seriously. The guy has won the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for the past six years. In 2001, when he first entered the contest, he ate 50 hot dogs in 20 minutes. You know what the record was before that? 25. This year, in 2006, he ate 53 3/4. FOX had this show called Man vs. Beast where Kobayashi was in a hot dog eating contest against an 1,100 pound Kodiak bear. He lost (duh—it’s a BEAR), but still. America’s been behind for a long time when it came to piddling crap like education and healthcare, but competitive eating? You’d think we’d still be a contender there. A Japanese dude winning a hot dog eating contest at Coney Island is like a Kenyan making the best apple pie in the entire world: totally fucked. So we’re all doomed, but still—Kobayashi rules.
