In addition to totally shredding in Russian Circles, Mike Sullivan also has this just sitting in his bedroom like it’s not a big deal at all.

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Is available to read. For free. On the internet.

True story.

Vagina Power
easily one of the best videos i have ever seen on the internet.

Cat Me If You Can
it’s getting to be almost too much with this cat stuff. almost.

Lost In Space (1967) – The Promised Planet – Will & Penny
so that’s what the 60s were like…

Bad Smell In The Toilet
kill bad smell poop devil with lighter. give you happy feeling!

Illusionators
heh.

Pool Meets Dominoes
hey look – an absolutely insane trick pool shot. it’s really impressive, but i dare you not to get kinda bored by the 3rd pool table.

Bill O’Reilly Loses His Mind
this is the first time i’ve ever cheered for geraldo in my entire life.

Fire Extinguisher Man
i guess this guy heard about how people on the internet are really into watching stunts.

Sorry I smashed everything under your exoskeleton into mush. I turned on the lights in the bathroom and you came running out. You know – that cool, moist room with all the smooth surfaces to walk around on? I know this is going to be hard for you to understand, but that’s actually the room that I BATHE in. It’s this thing that most people of my species do when we feel gross. We run water all over ourselves and do all this other stuff that would probably be way over your head. You know what? Forget it.

Anyway, you came running out of that room and went into my bedroom. Right when I was turning on the light, too! I wasn’t expecting that, you little dickens!

If you don’t get showers, you’re not going to understand bedrooms. I’m not even going to waste my time on that. You also probably don’t understand lights, either, save for that weird primordial brain switch that makes you run whenever you see it. Whatever – none of this even matters anyway because you’re dead. I smashed the crap out of you with a shoe. Do you understand the concept of shoes? I bet you do now.

I know you’ve probably lived in this apartment longer than I have. That makes me feel kind of bad for murdering you in what you probably considered your own home. For that I’m sorry, but let’s face it – I pay way more rent than you do. Are you familiar with rent? It’s the stuff I pay way too much of to have to share an apartment with you.

It fills my heart with stress and mild-to-moderate disgust to think that you died as you probably lived – hiding underneath my night stand. You were really big, and you had really long antennae, and I really hope that I never see any of your friends in my apartment for the duration of my lease, which will almost certainly not be renewed.

Rest in pieces, motherfucker.

I was driving home from work yesterday and went past this woman… doing something. She was dressed kind of like a hippie and she was standing next to a car covered in Hebrew bumper stickers. The Hebrew bumper stickers made me think that maybe she was Hasidic or something, but can Hasidic women dress like hippies? I don’t get it.

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He owned these.

You ain’t cuz you not.

You can play a game of pool on his pool table in a Graceland gift shop if you are 15 or older. It costs $100 for 30 minutes, but you get a polaroid and a “Certificate of Authenticity.”

He donated $1000 to the E.S. Lawo Man For Boy Club, which cannot possibly be what it sounds like.

Somebody from Scotland left this poem by his grave.

Also:

– Almost nobody has ever been upstairs at Graceland.

– If you are driving to Memphis from Chicago, you will pass this cross:

It’s so big it has its own website. A real one – not like a MySpace profile or a LiveJournal or whatever.

Kasper Hauser has put up another parody of This American Life. These guys are freakin’ awesome.

Also, Pravda (a Russian paper founded by Leon Trotsky in 1908) is doing some very interesting reporting on the Don Imus scandal. So interesting, in fact, that trying to read their article has given me a migraine and blurred vision.