After an amazing nine days in New York City, I’m finally back at my desk. Thank god. I was starting to get used to doing whatever the hell I want.

So what, might you ask, am I doing now? After a week and some change of hanging out with awesome kids, getting crunk until 7 am, then waking up to ride around in the subway and get lost in the biggest city in the country, how could I possibly get back into the habit of waking up and going to work? I needed something to calm me down, to break my spirit all over again.

And I found it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my most sincere pleasure to present to you the most boring conspiracy theory of all time.