Screw Bonsai Kittens – that shit was fake and you knew it all along anyway, but THIS. Whoa. That’s some next-level awfulness. Here’s a little sample:

Date:

12/27/05

Needed:

I’m deaf mother with 4 children. Salvation Army have no fund for rental assitance until April 2006. Right now, we are at shelter only for 30 days to stay. I need a rental assitance for rent house or rent apt before January 1st 2006. Please. Don’t put us on the street, again. I never ask my parents or friends for help. I’m idependence and depend on God and hope Angel will come to me for rental assitance and need furntuires, 4 bikes, computer, and large 1 tv set, that’s all. Help us will be great!! God bless you always. There’s never focus on deaf mother or deaf people’s need in my hometown. I have hard time, but very great patience. Text message me at 704.345.8205. Thank again.

Yeesh. It’s nice to know there’s no shortage of real, actual misery in the world. None of this I-hate-my-job-I-just-want-to-do-something-creative crap. Real, tangible human suffering. Speaking of which, hey, you know that bitch at the bar? You know – the really well dressed one who’s always making shitty faces? She’s been talking shit about you. Swear to god. Yeah, I know – she is a cunt. Fuck – I thought I ordered this burrito with no cilantro. I did, didn’t I?