When you bought that yellow car you’ve got there, what exactly was going through your head? What was the message you were hoping that driving around in a bright yellow car would convey? Was it a desperate cry for attention, a way of shouting to the world “look at me – I have acquired an automobile!” Maybe it was your way of emulating the peacock’s feathers, a colorful display to attract a mate. You figured “yeah, red is pimp and all, but yellow is brighter!” You thought that the brighter the car, the more likely it would be that a female would have her eye unwittingly attracted to it, wherein she would notice that you, having an automobile, might be a good candidate for sexual intercourse. You weren’t thinking to yourself “I want to drive around in something that looks like a giant sports walkman,” or “I should pick the most obnoxious color possible – my fellow commuters will enjoy that,” were you? Maybe you were thinking “cars say a lot about the person who drives them, so I will pick this bright yellow one.” Fair enough, but check it out: burly mountain men drive pickup trucks because they’re into dirt roads and using words like “torque.” Soccer moms drive SUVs because they have enough room in them for the kids AND the groceries (huzzah!). Dudes like you drive yellow cars because you are total fucking asshat douchebags. Blech! Yellow cars suck!