Ten Other Products That People Interested In Hammacher Schlemmer’s New Computerless E-Mail Printer May Want To Consider Purchasing:

– A Receiverless Telephone

– A Bladeless Knife

– A Wireless Wire

– A Memory Foam Hammer

– An Ink-Drenched Towel

– A Single-Cube Ice Tray

– A “God Bless This Mess” Wall Hanging From Some Shitty Antique Store In Door County, Wisconsin

– A Windex Bottle Full Of Blood

– A Computer