“I’ve got screens in my bathroom. For real. I’ve got a screen on the ceiling above my bed so I can watch Scarface while I’m fallin’ asleep, yo. I’ve got a screen built into my fridge so I can watch Scarface while I’m waiting for crushed ice. I’ve got screens pretty much everywhere I can fit them in my crib, to be honest. I’d like to get a pair built into my eyes so I can watch Scarface while I’m just walkin’ around scopin’ everything, but ain’t no doctors finna hook me up.

“Then there’s my car. Ya’ll best believe I got screens up in that shit. I got the 10.4” foldin’ down for real. Shit’s pimp, but check it: I blew all my skrilla on screens and Scarface DVDs. Now what the fuck am I supposed to watch, yo?! Let’s see… there’s gotta be somethin’ in this bargain bin if I dig deep enough… Scary Movie 4? Nahh… The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift? Ehh… Elf? Man, this is bullshit. Oh, schnaps! Joe Dirt for $3.99? David Spade’s a funny motherfucker, man! Ehh… I don’t know, man. This looks pretty shitty now that I’m lookin’ at the back of the box, yo. “From the producing team that brought you Deuce Bigalow and Big Daddy“? Sigh… you know what, man? Fuck it. I gots a tv in my car, yo! Shit’s pimp as hell and I don’t give a fuck! One Joe Dirt, please!”

Heh. Catching Someone Watching Joe Dirt In Their Car Rules.