Here’s my theory on Gnarls Barkley: somewhere out there, some music critic gave a shining review to this completely unremarkable duo. This, in turn, led other critics to give it similarly shining reviews, because the first critic was a respected tastemaker and was obviously right to give the completely unremarkable duo a shining review. Then people started buying the record and playing it at gatherings (“It’s not a party, man… it’s really more a gathering“) where people would then ask their hosts, “Hey, man… what is this, Jamiroqui?” Their hosts would laugh heartily, then shake their heads. “No, no…it’s Gnarls Barkley! You know… the collaboration between Goodie Mob’s Cee-Lo and hit producer Dangermouse!” Then they all grooved out, or blissed out, or whatever people do at gatherings where they play Gnarls Barkley, and the next day the guy who (understandably) thought it was a new Jamiroqui record ran out and bought the record himself. He played it for his girlfriend who thought it was totally catchy and made him burn it for her. Then she made it her official “shower soundtrack” so it got stuck in all her roommates’ heads, who then in turn played it for their boyfriends. Their boyfriends all thought it was kind of gay but figured maybe they’d get blowjobs if they all bought tickets to the Gnarls Barkley show. So now everyone likes Gnarls Barkley, and yeah, maybe a few dudes got their bones smooched, but c’mon… is it really worth it when a band sucks this bad?