You’ve gotta give it up to anyone who’s appeared on every shitty sitcom for the past two decades and is still just “that guy.” You know—like you look at that picture of him and go “Oh! It’s that guy!” He popped up on some show we were watching and Jo said to me “Isn’t that the guy who always plays someone’s best friend and always has, like, a sub in his hand?” We laughed, but it was a little depressing to me. What I should have said was “No, actually. That’s Michael G. Hagerty. He played the part of the Coroner in a 1987 episode of Married With Children called ‘You Better Watch Out.’ He also played the part of Billy Pratt—Dean Proffitt’s best friend—in the 1987 Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn vehicle Overboard. Any other questions?” Here’s lookin at you, Hagerty: you totally rule. Now finish that sub and give Kurt Russell a hand with that firewood.