You may have seen PetitionOnline.com before. It’s a site for people to post and sign – you guessed it – petitions online. It’s pretty much anonymous, and it’s open to whoever wants to contribute, so there’s tons of unbelievably retarded crap on there that isn’t worth looking at, but guess what? I took the time to weed out a few you might want to check out. I’m just good like that. Some of my favorites:

Petition for a new Oasis Website
358 signatures

“Oasis has a loyal, hard-core fanbase that has been supportive of the band
through the years, either when they were on top of the world, or when they
were on the verge of a break-up. Therefore, i think it’s fair to ask
Ignition management and Big Brother Records to put effort into the creation
of a website that serves the needs of one of the most loyal fanbases any
band could wish.”

Petition for a film based on the Nintendo game Mega Man
338 signatures

“We, the undersigned, sincerely wish for the video-game entertainment giant Capcom Co., LTD to set the framework for a film based on the “Mega Man” video game series, first launched in 1987. In addition to this request, we would also appreciate if the executives at Capcom would collaborate with the creators of the famed “Mega Man Fan-Trailer” (a mock movie project available at http://www.planet-megaman.com/mmmovie/), in order to bring a fan’s viewpoint into the creation of this film.”

Petition for Equal Rights for Juggalos
1,317 signatures

“this petition is for the fight of juggalo equality [sic]. we are called juggalos we live all across the world but in the united states we are currently facing our biggest hardship of them all [sic]. we are being treated like a cult or a gang. we are very religious group. yes we may listen to music that talks of murder axes drugs and sex but that’s all that is music [sic]. there was a underlying message from the founding group of this all the Insane Clown Posse [sic].”

Petition for the Commercial Release of the Nike shoes featured in Back To The Future II
16,767 signatures

“We, the undersigned, out of love for the NIKE brand and the design of the “Back to the Future Part II” future NIKE sneakers (worn by Marty McFly played by Michael J. Fox), would like to request that NIKE create a pair of these kicks to be sold to the public. It is the strong belief of the undersigned that these future NIKE sneakers would be immensely popular and not only boost NIKE’s sales but gain new fans of the NIKE brand.”

Petition to keep “Faith of The Heart” as the theme to Star Trek Enterprise
851 signatures

“I, and my fellow petitioners, urgently request that you KEEP the original song “Faith of The Heart” by Dianne Warren and not utilize a score as traditionally used by Star Trek television series.

The fans have voiced their opinions across the internet, and they share the sentiment that the intro to “Enterprise” is the best yet for a Star Trek series. We fans applaud your most recent move in providing a truely inspiring song. Some may say that you should uphold the tradition Gene Roddenberry began thirty-five years ago by offering an instrumental piece of music scored by a prominent composer, but we say “Faith of The Heart” IS upholding the principals and vision of Mr. Roddenberry. All one needs do is actually listen to the vocals of the theme to understand it is as moving as the original narration spoken by William Shatner. ”

Petition for a sequel to The Goonies
804 signatures

“Making a Goonies sequel could be one of the greatest things Warner Brothers could do because The Goonies has such a large fan base and we’ve been waiting for a long time anyway to see a sequel of our favorite movie of all time. The fans are even more excited to hear that if there is a sequel, all of the original cast will be returning! We’re so glad that the “real” Goonies want this done just as much as we do!”

Petition to add “Orienteering” in the Olympic Games
97 signatures

“Orienteering is a Sport that has athletes in the entire world, and must be an Olympic Sport. PUT Orienteering in OLIMPIC GAMES [sic]!”

(if you were wondering, Orienteering is a “sport” where you use maps and compasses to find your way to a series of points as quickly as possible. link here)