I’m kind of a sucker for new (and/or limited edition) fast food items. When Burger King introduced Chicken Fries, I was all over them. When the McRib came back for its final curtain call, I was there to throw it flowers. Most recently, when Arby’s unveiled its new “Natural Chicken” marketing campaign, promising, in what may be the least encouraging guarantee of all time, that their chicken will from now on come from 100% real chickens, I kept an open mind. Okay, fine. They were inadvertently admitting that their chicken was at some point not actually chicken. Who cares? That was the past. It’s time to move on. I’m not one for holding grudges, so I was first in line, first to pay, and first to sink my teeth into some “100% real” Arby’s chicken.

And now here we are – the latest heavyweight addition to the Merchandise Mart food court. Of course it’s not made of actual prime rib. You think I don’t know that? Who cares?! It may not be prime rib, but it IS covered in onions and mozzarella and some weird kind of dressing stuff. And hey, you know what? That’s good enough for me. Sold. Quizno’s Prime Rib Sub rules. Get over it.

(This entry, though well suited as a viral advertisement for Quizno’s new Prime Rib Sub, was in no way, shape, or form paid for by Quiznos LLC. But it should be. To that end, please go here and fill out the form to let them know what a good job I’m doing of promoting their new product. Feel free to post your letter in the comment section here. Or, hell – just call their President and CEO, Richard Schaden, at 720.359.3300 and let him know personally.)