Yeah, I know. Your significant other is a handful. Between dinner dates, meeting the family, birthdays and anniversaries, you don’t even have time to just sit and bask in the bliss of togetherness anymore, and hey, wasn’t that what you got together for in the first place? For a mere $6500 you can skip all that and get down to business. Sure, sometimes you might have to tighten her jaw with a Phillips-head screwdriver, and yeah, you have to use something called a “neck hook” to “use” her in a standing position, but relationships are all about compromise, right?

You’re bound to hit some bumps on the road to happiness, though. It happens. Luckily, Harpers has you covered.

(via reversecowgirl via themorningnews)