It’s ironic that Africa is kind of shaped like a giant t-bone steak.

I’m pretty sure that Dawn, Nanette and Lela are related to each other – they all look really similar. Maybe I should check out one of their FREE WEBCAMS and see if I can get any more information.

Here’s a crappy fortune I got in my fortune cookie earlier this week at a chinese buffet:

That’s not even true. What ever happened to “a friend in need is a friend indeed”? These fortune writers are assholes.

(previously)

When you bought that yellow car you’ve got there, what exactly was going through your head? What was the message you were hoping that driving around in a bright yellow car would convey? Was it a desperate cry for attention, a way of shouting to the world “look at me – I have acquired an automobile!” Maybe it was your way of emulating the peacock’s feathers, a colorful display to attract a mate. You figured “yeah, red is pimp and all, but yellow is brighter!” You thought that the brighter the car, the more likely it would be that a female would have her eye unwittingly attracted to it, wherein she would notice that you, having an automobile, might be a good candidate for sexual intercourse. You weren’t thinking to yourself “I want to drive around in something that looks like a giant sports walkman,” or “I should pick the most obnoxious color possible – my fellow commuters will enjoy that,” were you? Maybe you were thinking “cars say a lot about the person who drives them, so I will pick this bright yellow one.” Fair enough, but check it out: burly mountain men drive pickup trucks because they’re into dirt roads and using words like “torque.” Soccer moms drive SUVs because they have enough room in them for the kids AND the groceries (huzzah!). Dudes like you drive yellow cars because you are total fucking asshat douchebags. Blech! Yellow cars suck!

A while back, I “met” this “guy” Chet “The Triple Threat” Stevens. He was a “frat boy” who totally “went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.” He “exists.” Anyway, “he” told me his “story” and now it’s up on Cracked.com. Yeah.

So go “check it out.”

A band from Israel called Teapacks has been getting a lot of press in the last few days over their controversial submission to the Eurovision 2007 song contest entitled “Push The Button.” The song addresses the potential threat of nuclear annihilation at the hands of an unnamed enemy of the Israeli state. Teapacks will be representing Israel at the international competition in May,

That’s the story you’ll get from any major media outlet, but they all seem to be leaving out a fairly important detail: the song totally fucking sucks (edit: and here’s a video… you know, for maximum suckage). Why can’t they be more like these guys?