– A Man, A Can, A Plan – Alpa Naca Nama.
– Sally Broke A Dish? Sid A Ekorb Yllas!
– Re Wohseht Nide Tra. Farted In The Shower.
– Try Eating Poison, You! Oy Nosi Op Gnita Eyrt!
– Palindromes Are Hard. Rahara semord nilap.
– I’ll Never Do This Again. I Aga. Siht Od. Reven. Lli.
Whether you are an avid collector of sex scandal memorabilia or just a regular guy in need of a used massage table, you’re going to have a hell of a time passing up this eBay auction. The fact that Mike Jones will autograph the table on request is the icing on the cake – particularly if you collect male homosexual prostitute autographs. Which you know you do.
Reminded me of an awesome article in Harpers that I read a while back.
(via bb)
Pickle Surprise by Tom Rubnitz
this makes me very uncomfortable.
Don’s Guns
what’s with the skeletor laugh at the end there?
The Most Awkward Boy In The World Rides An Elevator
this is dumb, but it made me laugh for some reason.
How Not To Exit A Parking Garage
what the hell was he even trying to do?
Flakes
laz rojas asplodes my brain.
Emo News Report
“a fashion that’s turned deadly.”
Karen Black and L7 perform “Bang Bang”
it’s weird that this exists.
David Shrigley – After You’re Dead
cuz david shrigley rules.
Dating Losers
who WOULDN’T date bbq lou?!
Samwell “What What (In The Butt)”
this is the gayest music video since “Soccer Practice”
– “You, too, should visit the fortune-teller like she says. That’s just so much fun!”
– “If you want to get to the bar, use the southern thoroughfare. Swordsmen like yourself tend to gather there.”
– “The entrance to the viewing platform is on the side of this cafe. I heard that Gorons have been selling their wares there lately. ”
– “People who have a lot of leisure time make better, more sincere listeners than those who are busily scurrying about. The more relaxed a person is, the nicer he or she becomes, that’s what I’ve found.”
– “Oh, sightseeing? Or on business?”
36 years ago there was an epic karate battle 3 blocks away from my current apartment. The man responsible was Count Dante, the self-proclaimed “Deadliest Man Alive.” So frickin’ sweet. Too bad the dojo where it happened is now something called the Total Body Wellness Center, which is significantly less cool than the Black Cobra Hall of Kung Fu. I’m also pretty sure that whatever happens there now (yoga? acupuncture?) is significantly less cool than a bunch of black-belt karate experts raiding a rival dojo and ending up “stabbed in the chest with a saber.” Sigh. My neighborhood used to rule, apparently.
I’m not touching this one with a ten-footer. No sir… not gonna bite. Not saying a word about it. Nothing funny about it. Nothing at all. That’s pretty much straight-up child abuse, swinging a baby like a bat. And child abuse isn’t funny. Nope. Nothing funny about swinging a baby like a bat. Nothing funny about that at all.
Dear Internet Perverts Who Continually Wind Up On My Website By Searching Google For Strange And Filthy Things,
I’m afraid there’s been some sort of misunderstanding. Although you have ended up on my website in the last month by searching for the following, I regret to inform you that I do not have any pictures or videos of:
– pamela and tommy fucking
– free nude pics johnny depp
– pussy plundering movies
– photoshop pussy brushes
– sexiest prostitute
– stupid maid porn
– hairy men
– japanese mass fucking video
– remote control wife bigger boobs
– big nigerian dick porn
– goldie hawn crotch shots
– huge naked tits free pics
– hot hipsters naked
– sexy notary
– honeymoon fucking
– photo fuking oldest man
– twentysomething girls porn blowjobs
– girls depantsed video
– tight pants condi
– big boobs bouncing in slow motion
– britney naked and desperate
– george w bush naked pics
Hopefully this will clear up some of the confusion. Oh – and if you find that “remote control wife bigger boobs” thing, let me know. I’d kind of like to see that.
I’m admittedly at least a week behind the rest of the internet in posting anything about Kenneth Eng, self-declared “Asian supremacist” and “God of the Universe.” Sure, his little column was bigoted and insensitive, but taken at face value that’s not really much of a story. What would I title the post? “Asian Guy Hates Blacks?” What a snoozer! I had the whole thing written off last week as a news blip, a sensational morsel in the sea of info insanity. Then I found out that he has an Amazon blog and once wrote a book called “Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate.” Suddenly, my interested was piqued. “Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate?” Really? Let me reiterate:
“Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate.”
Brain asploded.
Here’s a quote from his blog on the subject of religion:
“Let’s look at the muslim religion. They believe that music, dance, naked women and other such things are “indecent”. They think that some creature called “allah” will bring them peace, yadda, yadda, yadda. They think that if they bow every day, they will somehow be transported to a place called “heaven”, where everyone looks conspicuously human. I don’t know about you, but I masturbate all the time. It’s not going to affect me in any way, aside from making me need to take baths more often. And listening to O Fortuna will not make my head explode. Nor will spitting at every church I see make my intestines burst out of my abdomen.”
So now everyone is outraged, but I will forgive him for all of this because one of the dragons on the cover of his book is holding a gun. I like that.
