One Bank
i actually feel a little guilty for helping to spread this video. i got an email with a link to it from some dude whose domain turned out to be some sort of weird branding/marketing company. so yeah, maybe it’s just viral marketing, and yeah, maybe i’m helping them with their campaign by reposting this, but you know what? fuck it. it’s funny.

Hurka?
speaking of marketing, american ad agencies could really learn something from the hungarians.

Manakin Moonwalking
isn’t nature beautiful?

Jagoff
wow.

QVC by JMB
the only mashup that i’ve ever really enjoyed.

Shoes
this is an oldie but it kinda rules.

Gong Show Clip
dude… what?

DAF – Liebe Auf Den Ersten Blick
if you were the other dude in this video, would you stand there watching that bullshit?

Jane Skinner Has Something On Her Mind
i’ll give you a clue: it’s cock.

Tired of shooting AND seasoning your fowl? Good news, folks: Season Shot has arrived.

Ready for the pun of the century? Ready?

Kill two birds with one stone.

Fuck.

A little info from the site:

Note the first difference between Season Shot and “other brands.” Apparently, one of the biggest differences between the two is the fact that one of them has “flavor.” The “other brands,” as you can see, have “no flavor” [here]. That’s an important clarification. Thanks, guys.

(via digg)

From : Gabriel Brown
Reply-To : brown_gab@yahoo.com
Sent : Sunday, November 5, 2006 4:37 PM
To : gb_brown11@yahoo.com
Subject : LIKE TO KNOW YOU.

I was browsing when i when I came across your profile. I am a man ready to share my friendship with someone. I would like you to reply me, so, that it will avail me the opportunity to tell you something about us; peolpe of the globalworld.
Thanks for caring.

Yours sincerely,
Gabriel Brown

Will It Blend? – Marbles
a white lab coat does not make you a scientist. this is still just some dude putting marbles in a blender.

Will It Blend? – Rake Handle
i know these videos are trying desperately to go viral, and i know i’m doing nothing but help them do so, but man. blending shit rules.

Belinda Bedekovic
an oldie but a way-way-way goodie.

Rocket Lincoln Jump
fuck death… oh, and the laws of physics, too.

Zach Galifianakis on Wonder Showzen
awesome.

More from the Amazing David “Fingers” Haynes
you can actually program those things to do that shit for you, david. that’s kinda the point.

Dove – Evolution Commercial
neato.

Danny Way jumps the Great Wall
this is somehow even more ridiculous than it’s supposed to be.

Spy Magazine’s How to Be Famous: The Montalban Experiment
i believe they mean “The Vincent Ludwig Experiment.”

First question wrong on Who Wants to be a Millionaire
college is completely worthless.

This rules. ‘Nuff said.

Ten Other Products That People Interested In Hammacher Schlemmer’s New Computerless E-Mail Printer May Want To Consider Purchasing:

– A Receiverless Telephone

– A Bladeless Knife

– A Wireless Wire

– A Memory Foam Hammer

– An Ink-Drenched Towel

– A Single-Cube Ice Tray

– A “God Bless This Mess” Wall Hanging From Some Shitty Antique Store In Door County, Wisconsin

– A Windex Bottle Full Of Blood

– A Computer

Let’s Paint, Exercise and Eat Pie Live #1
the best public access show just got even bester. how? they added pie. more available here.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeit
i don’t know what this is from but it cracks me up anyway.

Monster Mash: Bobby Brown & Mike Tyson
brain asploded.

1960s Commercial – Low Calorie Canned Fruit
this video rules for 2 or possibly even 3 reasons. can you spot them?

The Last Unicorn
holy fucking shit.

EZ Catch Chicken Harvester
hey, look! chickens! ha ha ha! yay! hey… wait! chickens! where are you going? oh, yeah. to die.

An Indian Take On Thriller
sometimes i wish i could dance. like right now, for example.

Turtle Rape
isn’t nature beautiful?

Russian Hooligan Fight
you are a pussy. your friends? pussies. these guys? not so much.

Arnold Fights A Bear
damn right he does.

Little Superstar
if you haven’t seen this by now you suck at the internet. seriously.

“Jokes: The Rough Cuts” is up today on Cracked.com.  From now on I shall be known as “Ross Wolinsky, Humorist.”  You know… instead of “that short jew.”

Like most people out there, I’m really into Tampa public access television programs from the late 1980’s to early 1990’s. I always considered myself a bit of an expert on the subject (who doesn’t?), but somehow I managed to snooze on this Sondra Prill character for years. What gives? Why didn’t anyone tell me about her before?

Sondra Prill (according to a much more detailed article about a quarter of the way down this page) allegedly took herself completely seriously as the star of a three-episode program entitled – get this – “My Show.” Sondra sang, dance and postured her heart out in each installment of the show that, according to Eric Williams of ubu.com, “provided a showcase for Sondra’s ever-evolving range of things at which she tried to be talented.” Over the course of the three shows she went from a country darlin’ to a tone-deaf diva, covering everything from Hank Williams to Janet Jackson and Technotronic. The shows were peppered with incomprehensible skits that revolved around characters like “Nellie Pineapple” and “Millie The Old Lady.”

Now I know what you’re thinking: there’s no way she could possibly have taken this seriously. You could argue that convincingly, if it weren’t for Sondra’s swan song: a 1992 concert at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center Playhouse Theatre entitled “A Musical Fantasy.” We’re talking about a Hurricane Andrew fundraiser at a 900-seat arena here. Here’s Daniel Ruth of the Tampa Tribune on the subject:

“Ticket prices for her show ranged up to $50, a testimony to a rather intriguing assessment of her talents considering recent (and slightly better known) TBPAC performers such as Al Green and Patti LaBelle charged a maximum ticket price of $25.

“Of course Green and LaBelle lack Sultry Sondra’s unique way of handling a melody – a cross between the dulcet sound of setting one’s hair on fire and sticking one’s hand into a garbage disposal.

“Friday night’s show was not without its highlights. First, it started about 20 minutes late and in an inadvertent gaffe much to the delight of the audience, Sultry Sondra’s microphone failed during one of her songs, which meant we were all spared from having to listen to her.

“Fortunately for the rest of the city, there weren’t that many of us in the audience. Only 41 tickets were sold to Sultry Sondra, a commentary on the good sense of the populace. Of course they did miss that dramatic moment during the performance where Sultry Sondra had honey poured all over her for no particular reason. Say, That’s Entertainment!

“Needless to say the victims of Hurricane Andrew won’t be benefitting much from Friday’s extravaganza of the banal. But then again, perhaps the folks down in Miami could send Sultry Sondra a few bucks – as professional courtesy from one disaster to another.”

Here’s the bottom line: Sondra Prill is either the most brilliantly retarded performance art that Florida ever spawned or a foaming, raving lunatic, but either way her videos are absolutely fucking hysterical. Ladies and gentlemen of the internet… I give you Sondra Prill. Or YouTube does, I guess. I’ll give you the links to YouTube and then YouTube will give you Sondra Prill.

Sondra Prill – Nasty Boys

Sondra Prill – Pump Up The Jam

Sondra Prill – Addicted To Love

Sondra Prill – Your Cheatin’ Heart

Sondra Prill – Little Melissa

Sondra Prill – Nellie Pineapple

Sondra Prill – Millie The Old Lady

Sondra Prill – Mario The Body Builder

Sondra Prill – Smile Toothpaste Commercial

Sondra Prill – Imitates Eddie

Sondra Prill – Star Spangled Banner

Sorry Margo, but I think I’m gonna have to pass on this one. I’m sure the babies are very sexy, and yeah, I understand that they’re waiting (presumably for me and not for, say, a bus or a phonecall or something), but I’ve got a lot of shit to do today. I feel really bad turning down a membership considering this club was clearly designed specifically for me (who, after all, are all those sexy babies waiting for?!), but I’m busy and I don’t know what I’d be expected to do once I actually joined and, well, golly. I’m sorry, Margo. Margo4Me. Really. I am. Maybe if you or your sexy friends had a totally free live cam somewhere that I could watch? A live feed just 4 me? That would be just splendid. Also, it would help if you really actually existed. That would be a good place to start. We could just sort of, you know… take it from there.

That looks like a really uncomfortable way to sit, by the way. I hope you and your sexy friends aren’t planning on waiting around for me in that position. You could throw your back out.

MySpace seriously fucking sucks. Can we go back to Friendster already, or do we have to continue to pretend that we’re enjoying this bullshit?