I have an article in the Chicago Reader this week. You can read it online here.

I would like to direct all of you to Shooby.com, an online repository for all things Shooby Taylor (aka The Human Horn). Shooby aspired to be a scat singer, and he had a very, erm, distinctive style. Here is the only known video of him performing. It was filmed at the Apollo.

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Ouch.

Shooby recorded a handful of tracks in the 80s (which are available here – check out “Lift Every Voice”), but he never quite made it into the industry. He died in 2003, but his legend lives on. You know – on the internet.

Rest in peace, Shooby.

It was invented by Nazis!

In addition to being champions of the unfortunate swing revival in the late 90s, the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies also helped make a giant mechanical wang. And you thought they were cool before.

NSFW, obviously.

Oooh. This restaurant is really fancy. The waiter’s kind of a prick and it’s really dark in here and the prices are just say like “28” or “32” or however many dollars the item costs. This restaurant is so fancy they don’t even bother with change. That makes me feel good about spending so much money to eat here. I can’t wait to dig in! Here comes the food now! Wow – this looks pretty good. It’s some kind of chopped meat patty covered in stuff and served in the middle of a halved roll of some kind. And these things on the side… what are these? Pommes frites? Ooh… French. This all seems vaguely familiar, though. Where have I seen these foods before? I know I must not have ever had any of them before because they’re all being served to me on a square plate. Square plates are the fanciest! Anything served on a square plate is classy and elegant and I, having no class or elegance, have clearly never eaten any of these foods before!

Oh, wait – it’s a burger and fries. Fuck. Square plates suck.

He would probably look a little bit like this hand-decorated Pirates of the Carribean cookie I bought at 7-Eleven last night.

Laugh if you want, but I think that’s pretty good for a nine-year-old Indonesian child who has never even heard of Johnny Depp before. Plus you KNOW she decorated like 8,000 cookies that day and only earned like 60 cents. Cut her some slack.

Me (pointing at drawing on counter): Did you draw that?
Cashier (smiling): Sí. Playboy.
Me: Can I have it?
Cashier (confused): ¿Sí?

Because every once in a while you run into someone who was like this kid when they were young, only now they’re all grown up and just hanging out at a party. Then they say something really weird and you’re like “What the hell?! Were you home schooled or something?” Then all of your friends laugh but the kid just looks at you completely deadpan and goes “Yeah, I was. Why do you ask?”

(via geekologie)

Furries might link to it on one of their weird forums.

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay.”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “I Gotta Stay Fly-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay Until I Die-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie.”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “It’s Bigger Than Hip… Hop…”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “Throw Your Hands In The Air And Wave ‘Em Like You Just Don’t Care.”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”