It was invented by Nazis!

In addition to being champions of the unfortunate swing revival in the late 90s, the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies also helped make a giant mechanical wang. And you thought they were cool before.

NSFW, obviously.

Oooh. This restaurant is really fancy. The waiter’s kind of a prick and it’s really dark in here and the prices are just say like “28” or “32” or however many dollars the item costs. This restaurant is so fancy they don’t even bother with change. That makes me feel good about spending so much money to eat here. I can’t wait to dig in! Here comes the food now! Wow – this looks pretty good. It’s some kind of chopped meat patty covered in stuff and served in the middle of a halved roll of some kind. And these things on the side… what are these? Pommes frites? Ooh… French. This all seems vaguely familiar, though. Where have I seen these foods before? I know I must not have ever had any of them before because they’re all being served to me on a square plate. Square plates are the fanciest! Anything served on a square plate is classy and elegant and I, having no class or elegance, have clearly never eaten any of these foods before!

Oh, wait – it’s a burger and fries. Fuck. Square plates suck.

He would probably look a little bit like this hand-decorated Pirates of the Carribean cookie I bought at 7-Eleven last night.

Laugh if you want, but I think that’s pretty good for a nine-year-old Indonesian child who has never even heard of Johnny Depp before. Plus you KNOW she decorated like 8,000 cookies that day and only earned like 60 cents. Cut her some slack.

Me (pointing at drawing on counter): Did you draw that?
Cashier (smiling): Sí. Playboy.
Me: Can I have it?
Cashier (confused): ¿Sí?

Because every once in a while you run into someone who was like this kid when they were young, only now they’re all grown up and just hanging out at a party. Then they say something really weird and you’re like “What the hell?! Were you home schooled or something?” Then all of your friends laugh but the kid just looks at you completely deadpan and goes “Yeah, I was. Why do you ask?”

(via geekologie)

Furries might link to it on one of their weird forums.

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay.”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “I Gotta Stay Fly-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay Until I Die-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie.”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “It’s Bigger Than Hip… Hop…”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

Good Hip-Hop Hook: “Throw Your Hands In The Air And Wave ‘Em Like You Just Don’t Care.”
Bad Hip-Hop Hook: “Good Googly Moogly, That Thang Is Juicy.”

If you think back to your childhood, you may remember a brief (or extended) period of shark obsession. It was probably around the same time that you were obsessed with stealth bombers, dinosaurs, and He-Man. A lot has changed since those days, and certain things have lost their luster over time. Stealth bombers are a joke, dinosaurs are too remote a fantasy (for most of us), and, well, let’s face it – He-Man was kind of gay. But even though most of our childhood daydreams have been quashed, at least we’ve got something that’s still unequivocally sweet.

[gv data=”eYbCMdR38us”][/gv]

Why do kids love sharks? Because they’re totally badass! In case you’ve forgotten how sweet great whites are, Planet Earth went out in the ocean for an entire month with one of those cameras they use for filming automobile crash tests. After all that time, they finally managed to grab literally ONE SECOND of footage of a great white totally destroying a seal. What that one second of footage revealed when viewed in ultra-slow motion was nothing short of a scientific breakthrough. It’s pretty technical and there’s a lot of jargon involved – you know how these marine biologists are – but let me sum it up for you in layman’s terms: great white sharks totally fucking rule.