As you’ve probably noticed, things have been awful quiet around these parts. I took a little break in late August that I couldn’t bring myself to end, but then I got an interesting offer: blogging on a regular basis for the recently-redesigned Cracked.com. Part of that redesign includes a new group blog, and I’ll be writing there Monday through Friday for the foreseeable future.

So what about Hypocritical Mass? I think that for the time being, HM is going to be a place for things that don’t fit in at the Cracked Blog. Open letters to abstract concepts, obituaries for people I’ve never heard of, interviews with lunatics… all that good stuff.

I’ll admit it, though: My schedule is not going to let me post here anywhere close to daily. There will definitely be new posts to look out for, though, so be sure to check back occasionally. In the meantime, go check out the Cracked Blog, leave lots of comments and click on all of the banner ads. You’ll probably win a free iPod!

(edit: apparently the direct link to the Cracked Blog doesn’t work. Just click “Blog” on the error page until they get that fixed.)

“Comments On Last Night’s Orgy” is up on Yankee Pot Roast today.

Also, it’s my birthday today. Double-whammy!

If so, you probably won’t think this is funny.

[poll=8]

Anonymous on FOX11
beware the internet hate machine.

“Chocolate Rain” Original Song by Tay Zonday
i smell a meme.

What Are you Gonna Do To The Monster?
i’m sorry, but that’s fucking adorable.

Re: Daxflame interviews LisaNova!
this might be a really awesome joke, but i have a feeling that it’s not.

The Fonz And The Honk!
thanks, fonz.

Rap Cat
this is dumb but i still like it.

Zach Galifianakis
heh.

Filipino Prisoners Perform “Thriller”
if you somehow missed this one, catch it now.

Ostrich Skiing – Unbelievably
better than the video: people arguing in the comments over whether or not it’s real.

Louis CK Airline Safety Video
heh.

Slime in the Ice Machine
i don’t know what to say about this.

Jessica The Hippo
i’m pretty sure that’s a terrible idea.

Ghostride The Whip Movie Trailer
is there really 90 minutes worth of shit to say about ghostriding the whip?

“WTF!?: The 8 Strangest Communities on the Web” is up on Cracked.com today. Some of you may have seen this already, but you ain’t never seen it lookin’ so purty.

I have a new article up on Cracked.com today. Go read it.

(article link)

Video game developers: take notes on Rose & Camellia. Your industry needs to realize that you don’t need fancy graphics or a huge development budget to make a great game. You don’t need fantastical creatures with highly detailed 3D models and textures, or realistically rendered explosions, or even an immersive storyline to make a great game. You don’t need rocket launchers or magical powers or addictive multiplayer modes. Apparently, all you really need to make a great game is have two chicks slapping the living crap out of each other. I had no idea.

(via geekologie)

Direct Source Inc has a warehouse chock-full of random crap, and guess what? They want to sell it to you! Do you need a Portable Cap Closet? Maybe a pair of Potato Peeling Gloves? Two different outfits for your dog? Good news: Direct Source Inc has it all, plus more! Be sure to click the pictures for the full views. For example:

Brain asploded.

(via adamriff)

Remember Bao Xishun? The Mongolian herdsman who saved a choking dolphin last year? Well if you’re like me, you’ve been wondering what the world’s tallest man has been up to. Luckily, the always-classy Daily Mail has our answer: Shaking hands with a guy claiming to be the world’s shortest man. He Pingping – who also hails from Inner Mongolia – is only 73 cms tall. Someone named Lin Yih-Chih holds the record at 67.5 cms, apparently, but you know what? A photo op is a photo op.

As much as I love Bao Xishun, I have to admit it: Meeting a guy who claims to be the world’s shortest man while being 6 cm taller than the current record holder is no dolphin rescue.