What’s always behind an able man? A Radio Flyer full of empty whiskey bottles? A trail of blood? Maybe it’s just a sturdy wall for him to lean against. This fortune cookie raised more questions than it answered, really. Anyone have any ideas?

P.S. Worst. Chinese lesson. Ever.

So you think you like video games? You like to sit down, maybe play a few rounds of Tekken with your bros? Well guess what: you’re a fucking lightweight. Some dude (painfully translated page) decided for some ungodly reason to play Tetris DS for 24 straight hours. He even played it in the bathtub. What would that be like? To hear him tell it, not particularly pleasant. “The finger it is painful, the eye it is painful, the throat it dried.” That’s at like 5 hours in. There is clearly no god in Japan; only small electronics and sleep deprivation. Oh – and vending machines where you can buy soiled panties. You know what? This really isn’t that weird.

(via dsfanboy)

One day, back in 1975, John Trubee was sitting on his ass behind a cash register at a convenience store in Princeton, New Jersey. He was bored out of his mind. Wouldn’t you be if you were sitting behind a cash register at a convenience store in Princeton, New Jersey? What would you be doing? Reading? Doodling? Sudoku? Not John Trubee. Instead of wasting his time with some sort of piddling nonsense like number games or reading a book, John Trubee decided to take advantage it. He decided to do something. He picked up a pen, grabbed a piece of paper, and started to write. The words poured out of him like they had been inside him all along, just waiting to get out:

Stevie Wonder’s penis is erect because he’s blind
It’s erect because he is blind…

And now here you are, 31 years later, sitting at your computer, reading those words he wrote so long ago. How did that happen? How does something scrawled on a legal pad behind the register of a convenience store in Princeton, New Jersey wind up preserved for three decades? I’m not sure, but it probably helps if it’s the most brilliant fucking thing ever written in the history of mankind.

Step 1: read this short essay about how “Peace & Love (Blind Man’s Penis)” came to be recorded.

Step 2: watch this (nsfw) flash video set to it.

Step 3: try to figure out how you’re gonna do all the things you have to do this week with AN ASPLODED BRAIN.

(via metafilter)

[gv data=”TAjn3bKZqAw”][/gv]More here, here, and here. Brain seriously completely asploded.

(via metafilter)

Try as I may, I just can’t seem to get away from dead bodies for more than an hour or two.

First I spend my entire lunch eating a sandwich and reading Mary Roach’s Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. It’s an awesome book and you should totally read it, although you may want to skip the chapter “Life After Death: On human decay and what can be done about it” if, like me, you happen to be eating a sandwich.

Then, not more than an hour after my lunch is over, I end up stumbling across the website for the Fragonard Museum. You know that Body Worlds exhibit everyone was freaking out about last year? You know how it bills plastination as this revolutionary new process? Well screw that – this French guy named Honoré Fragonard was doing that shit over 200 years ago… sort of, anyway. His work is currently collecting dust on the second floor of a veterinary school outside of Paris. The “piece,” for lack of a better word, pictured above, is called – get this – “Human Fetuses Dancing A Jig.”

(via kirchersociety.org)