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Nothing Clever To Say.
Monday August 28th 2006, 11:15 am
Filed under: videos
Filed under: videos
I’m tired today. Here: watch some assholes from public access.
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Synths + Supermarkets + A Generically Foreign Band Called “Vocoder” = Something That Either Totally Rules Or Sucks Really Bad.
Thursday August 24th 2006, 12:11 pm
Filed under: brain exploders,music,things that rule,things that suck,videos
Filed under: brain exploders,music,things that rule,things that suck,videos
I couldn’t decide how I felt about this video, so I made a detailed inventory of what happens in the video and rated each moment to determine empirically whether or not it totally ruled:
Things That Ruled: 12
Things That Sucked: 7
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Verdict: Totally Fucking Rules.
0:05 – sh-101 shown. (rules)
0:15 – guy in sunglasses rolls by in a shopping cart. (rules)
0:21 – girl shrugs, eats candybar, smiles, winks. (rules)
0:40 – misspelled song title. (rules)
0:47 – closeup of beard guy dancing. (sucks)
0:57 – dude in white scarf & sunglasses plays a drum machine (that isn’t plugged in). (rules)
1:10 – Borat-looking guy jerks around a little. (kinda sucks)
1:30 – chick dancing all stupid. (sucks)
1:41 – more shopping cart shennanigans. (rules)
1:50 – “hey you now, only disco / hey you now, only disco dancing.” (rules)
2:00 – rockin’ the synths in a moving shopping cart. (rules)
2:07 – empty shopping carts crash into each other. what’s the point here? (sucks)
2:09 – Borat-looking guy starts rapping. Brain asploded. (rules)
2:30 – Borat and beard guy have some incomprehensible transcation. I think he buys a candybar from the guy in the store, even though clearly neither of them actually work here. I don’t get it. (sucks)
2:50 – Borat raps again a little. (totally rules)
3:00 – Borat steals something. Pretty cool, I guess. (Rules)
3:10 – ‘Don’t stop, I move your body / I want to dance, in the morning.” We knew that already. (sucks)
3:37 – Beard guy finds a drum machine on the rack at the supermarket. That’s gay. (sucks)
3:55 – Beard guy finds ANOTHER drum machine on another shelf. You’ve gotta admire their tenacity. (rules)
Video Roundup
Wednesday August 23rd 2006, 12:25 pm
Filed under: videos
Filed under: videos
Corey Haim On E!
one, uhh… rear… purcherator… and ehhh…
Weird Al Yankovic – Dare To Be Stupid
this song has been stuck in my head for an entire week. shoot me.
Wrong First Answer On Millionaire
that is SERIOUSLY the last stick.
Pancakes!
this song actually made me order pancakes a few days ago.
Kitten Falling Asleep
this is so fucking cute i could puke.
LSD Case Study
thanks seancarl.
Classic Double Dare Moment
yeah… a real unforgettable tv moment here. remember where you were when it first aired? it defined a generation. really.
Don’t Fuck With A.C. Slater
hey, look! a dated pop culture reference!
Patches: The Coolest Horse
that horse can sell anything.
Let’s Paint And Exercise TV!
Wednesday August 02nd 2006, 9:33 am
Filed under: bizarre,brain exploders,internet crap,things that rule,tv,videos
Filed under: bizarre,brain exploders,internet crap,things that rule,tv,videos
[gv data=”TAjn3bKZqAw”][/gv]More here, here, and here. Brain seriously completely asploded.
(via metafilter)
Video Roundup.
Tuesday August 01st 2006, 10:10 am
Filed under: videos
Filed under: videos
The “Very” Final Countdown
i seriously dare you to watch this entire video.
Headon – Apply Directly to the Forehead!
strangely hypnotic. i think i’ll buy it.
Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro Commercial
victims! victims! victims!
Johnny Cash on The Muppet Show
looks like during the “i love god” phase, not the “i’m so fucked up on pills i’ll bash your face in and not even know i did it” phase.
Monkey Playing With A Dog
they’re like tiny naked people with unbelievable upper-body strength!
Sorcery – Stunt Rock
i’m pissed that i just found out about this – i’ve wasted 25 years of my life not watching it.
Crawley Kids In A Tilgate Park
i don’t know what the title means, but i do know this: it’s funny when people get injured.
Family Feud – “September”
soooo wasted.
Big Lebowski – “Fucking” Short Edition.
cuz “fuck” is funny.
Dave Chapelle – New Tupac.
funny. that’s all.
Donald Trump on Citizen Kane.
Yesterday I picked up the very excellent second volume of Wholphin at my local independent hipster bookstore. I threw the thing into my Playstation 2, loaded it up, and the menu splashed across the screen: 15 weird short films to choose against a Donald Trump background. I couldn’t decide which one to watch. As I flipped through the accompanying booklet, reading a little bit about each short, all of the sudden the menu fell away and the Donald started looking around, seemingly unsure about his timing. Then he started to talk about the major thematic elements in Citizen Kane and my brain exploded all over the couch. Errol Morris is my fucking hero.
(link)
Video Roundup.
Wednesday July 19th 2006, 11:27 am
Filed under: videos
Filed under: videos
Pee Wee Herman at David Letterman #2, circa 1983, Part 1of 2
i know you are but what am i?
Jon Stewart on Net Neutrality
heh.
Ramones – I Don’t Want To Grow Up
ramones + dan clowes = rad.
Jean-Pierre Jeunet – “Foutaises”
“Things I Like, Things I Hate.”
Human Space Invaders
so dorky – so sweet.
Blog 83: July 10, 2006
videoblogging: clearly the future of media.
Tarzan Boy – Baltimora
this could be the gayest music video of all time.
Skinheads on Geraldo Part 4
jerry springer is the biggest pussy ever.
BakuTen – ham in a CD player
in the name of science…
YMCK – Milky Blue ~fushigi no kuni no riddle~
brain asploded.
Video Killed The Video Star.
When I was growing up – you know, back in the 80s – if you managed to get your hands on a huge, clunky camcorder, you recorded some really dumb shit, played it back, felt instantly stupid and hid the tape behind your dresser for the next decade. These days, things are a little different. With the advent of YouTube and Google Video, people can now instantly cast those unbelievably stupid videos through the series of tubes we call the internets and out to millions and millions of people. Whether it’s a good thing or not is beyond me. All I know for sure is that it’s annoying when I’m trying to find the actual Kelly Clarkson video for “Since You’ve Been Gone” and I have to sort through a thousand videos of kids singing it in their bedrooms. You should probably just read what some dude named Lore Sjöberg has to say about it; he’s way more angry about it than I am anyway.
(link)
David Hasselhoff Makes Me Nervous.
Although this video makes my hipster irony sense tingle like crazy (which makes me wanna run down to the corner of Damen, North & Milwaukee and scream to every latte-sipping doofus within earshot, “David Hasselhoff rules!”), the fact remains that the song is absolutely atrocious. I feel so conflicted: I can’t decide whether to tag this as a “thing that rules” or a “thing that sucks.” You know what? Fuck it – it’s both.
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