Kung Fu Baby
this is what the internet was made for.

Gospel Mime
just another mime spreading the word of god the only way she can – through mimery.

Paperboy – Ditty (Alternate Video)
i wonder why they didn’t use this one? weird.

The World’s Most Giant Killer Spider!!
kill it! ack!

Gong Show – Strange Act From 1976
can someone please tell me why this show ever got pulled off the air?

100 vs 1
this would be terrifying.

Oldboy “Eating Live Octopus” – Behind The Scenes
i don’t really have anything to say about this one.

Penn And Teller Get Hippies To Sign Petition Banning Water
hippies are stupid. zing!

Judge Judy 2-6-07
soooo pissed.

A few weeks ago I posted a link to a video of a guy riding a robot. Maybe you saw it and thought to yourself, “That’s how I want to die.” Well today is your lucky day, my friend – the cleverly titled “ROBOT INDUSTRIAL FANUC S420iW” is up for auction on eBay, albeit with the somewhat-perplexing subtitle “ROBOT RIDE – DO NOT DO THIS!!” From the auction:

“This auction is for a used 1997 FANUC S420iW Industrial robot with RJ-2 Controls in a remote “B” cabinet. This robot has a capacity rating of 346 pounds and was at one time used in a Nissan Motor Plant. It is NOT intended to be a “RIDE” and I do not reccomend [sic] doing so. Fanuc also does NOT support the use of this machine as a “JOY RIDE”. Using this robot in such a manner can be hazardous to your health!!! … Videos of a machine “EXACTLY LIKE THIS ONE” in operation are available ALL OVER THE INTERNET!! Google the words “ROBOT RIDE” and find footage of a robot “EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE I HAVE FOR SALE”!”

Make up your minds, science-jerks!

(link – via bb)

Calling it an “article” might be pushing it, but “The 7 Most Insane Moments from Cable Access TV” is up on Cracked.com today. Check it out.

(link)

A girl named Alyson Levy (who used to work on Wonder Showzen, apparently) made a short documentary out of footage she shot while visiting a Christian puppet camp. The results will melt your brain. Check it out.

The Hands of God – part 1

The Hands of God – part 2

The Hands of God – part 3

The Hands of God – part 4

Optician vs. 75-Year-Old Reporter
there comes a time in every optician’s career when they have to assault a 75-year-old reporter.

The Wilhelm Scream Compilation
the second best scream in the history of cinema – right after that other one. you know – the one that’s all “AIEEEEEEE!”

Adventure Time
rainbows are about to shoot out of your ass.

Def Jam: Icon
E-40 vs. Lil Jon? sign me the fuck up.

Tim and Eric – Awesome Show Great Job
clip from the first episode of their new show. totally awesome. see the rest here.

Ghetto Fried Chicken
i’m not touching this one with a ten-footer.

Rocket Fuel Plant Explosion
cuz it’s cool when shit blows up. more info here.

Mushihimesama Ultra Superplay – Last Final Boss
this looks like just about the least fun video game of all time.

The Cutest Kitten In The Entire World
get ready to puke.

TMNT Girl
dear god.

We’ll remember they way you smiled gracefully at your detractors. We’ll remember your unique sense of style. We’ll remember your massive tits, and the way they wooed an old millionaire into giving you more money than any of us will ever see in our entire lives. We’ll remember that TV show you had, and how everyone loved to hate it. We’ll also remember how we totally forgot about your TV show after a while because we got sick of watching you fall down over and over and over again. We’ll remember how you showed up completely wasted at some sort of awards show. We’ll remember how your stepson died somehow. Or maybe it was your regular son. Whatever – we’ll remember it regardless. We’ll remember how you lost weight with the help of diet pills, inspiring thousands of people to do likewise. But most of all, Anna, we’ll remember how through it all, through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, you never managed to show even a speck of an iota of class. Rest in peace.

Pamela’s still chuggin’ along, right?

(P.S. In honor of the passing of this American icon, please take a moment to watch this video and reflect on what Anna meant to you. She died as she lived – collapsing in public.)

Bear Cubs Boxing
or midgets (or children or chimpanzees) in bear suits boxing.

Death Metal Fresh Prince
this is stupid but it makes me happy.

The Thing With Two Heads
i want to try to watch this entire movie soooo bad.

LA Guyz!
tim and eric rule.

The First YouTube Video Ever
what a piece of shit.

Robot Ride
i think his head was dragging on the floor for a minute there.

Cliff Jump With No Parachute
this guy is completely out of his mind.

What Hands Can Do
neat-o.

Boston Ad Prank Suspects Talk About… Hair
these are the guys arrested for putting up aqua teen hunger force advertisements which were inexplicably mistaken for bombs.

Apprentice Reject Nick Christakis
this guy sounds like a really good businessman, doesn’t he?

Earlier today I opened up a YouTube video called “In My Language” – a fascinating look at autism and how we define language. Then a friend of mine sent me a link to a music video called “Why Must I Cry” – a fascinating look at how some really shitty rapper sings in the shower. I opened it while the other one was playing in another window and hey, guess what? They go together really well! Accidental Mash-Ups rule! Hit play on both of them below and find out for yourself!

[gv data=”e7ZBOj7xr9k”][/gv]

[gv data=”JnylM1hI2jc”][/gv]

Sorry for the lack of posts in the post-holiday season so far, but I’ve been kind of busy… drinking Jameson and watching Lost, mostly. I’m kind of sick of the internet lately, to be honest. This is a really bad thing for someone who maintains a blog dedicated, during bouts of laziness, to posting links to stupid shit on the internet. Despite all of this, I’ve managed to find the energy to, you know, watch some YouTube videos. Wow. Pathetic.

“Fuck”
211,000 people have viewed this video because they typed “fuck” into YouTube and it’s the first thing that comes up. watch it 3 times in a row for maximum effectiveness.

Matt & Kim – Lightspeed
this is too cute not to like.

Mr. Cool Ice
he’s real.

Windows Sounds On A Keyboard
this guy will die alone.

My Extreme Piano
money well spent.

Live Action Pac-Man
japanese people are weird.

Waking The Cavaver – Chased Through The Woods
i drunk-emailed myself a link to this. it’s stupid and amazing.

Ernst & Young – motivation song “Oh Happy Day!”
so gay it MUST be european.

Tickle Me Elmo on Fire
this makes me uncomfortable.

Furby In A Microwave
kinda goes with the elmo one in the sense that it also makes me uncomfortable.

Back in September I posted a video of a TV pirating incident from 1987. It features a Max Headroom impostor talking gibberish for a while, pulling out his ass, and getting spanked with a fly swatter. If I had to use just one word to describe it, that’s a no brainer: “awesome.”

No, wait: “shred.”

There was no context for the video, no explanation whatsoever. Go figure – it’s a clip of a local broadcast from two decades ago where some dude pulls out his ass. Can you really expect much background information for that? Could there really be that much more to say about it?

Of course there is. This is the internet, remember?

Click the picture of Max Headroom for the full history of a fairly minor pirating incident from twenty years ago, courtesy of Damn Interesting.