Try as I may, I just can’t seem to get away from dead bodies for more than an hour or two.

First I spend my entire lunch eating a sandwich and reading Mary Roach’s Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. It’s an awesome book and you should totally read it, although you may want to skip the chapter “Life After Death: On human decay and what can be done about it” if, like me, you happen to be eating a sandwich.

Then, not more than an hour after my lunch is over, I end up stumbling across the website for the Fragonard Museum. You know that Body Worlds exhibit everyone was freaking out about last year? You know how it bills plastination as this revolutionary new process? Well screw that – this French guy named Honoré Fragonard was doing that shit over 200 years ago… sort of, anyway. His work is currently collecting dust on the second floor of a veterinary school outside of Paris. The “piece,” for lack of a better word, pictured above, is called – get this – “Human Fetuses Dancing A Jig.”

(via kirchersociety.org)

What do John Edwards, the FBI, the FAA, and Charlotte Hornets owner George Shinn have in common? Easy: they’re all in on a massive conspiracy to… umm… fly a helicopter 25 feet above this guy’s house. This YouTube video has rekindled my love affair with the internet. It first started making the rounds about two weeks ago (about a decade ago in internet time), but I figured I should probably post it in case anyone hasn’t seen it. Prepare to have your mind blown.

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When Tupac was 19, he was hired as a back-up dancer for Digital Underground. Whoopee. When the Tact Records crew was 19, they were serving in the Israel Defense Forces. If American rappers are pissed off, just imagine what these guys must feel like. Israel’s most popular rapper, Subliminal (MySpace profile here), is known as the creator of “Zionist hip hop.” Tamer Nafar, founder of hip hop group DAM (“Da Arabic MCs”), is an Arab-Israeli. They used to be friends who believed that hip hop could unite the world. Take a wild guess what happened with there.

Read about their falling out over at Guilt and Pleasure.

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You can do a lot of things to a dog: pet it, feed it, maybe take it for a walk or something. I guess you could conceivably put it to work, maybe attach a plow to it or something. There’s a lot of options there.

Or alternatively, I guess you could put a horse mask on it. Or dress it up like a pig. Or, umm… put a leaf on its head. Or write “2005” on some oranges and put the oranges in its mouth, then balance some more oranges on its head. Or put a doll head in its mouth. Hey, you know what? Fuck it. Why don’t you put some fake eyelashes on it? There are so many great things you can do to a dog that I never would have thought of. Thanks, internet.

(link – via metafilter)

Remember when you figured out that Kraftwerk’s “Metropolis” is the exact same speed as Prince’s “Little Red Corvette?” Too late – some kid in Sweden already did that like two years ago. Screw a bunch of “mashups” anyway – it’s time to take it to the next level. While you were sitting in a swivel chair failing miserably at mixing Lil Jon with R.E.M., some dude named Matthew at Pottymouth.org was sitting in an even darker room than you were. He sat there for a long time staring at the wall for hours, thinking about how mashups are stupid. He made a snack. All of the sudden the wall-mounted CD rack right above him broke and all of his Pixies CDs fell on his head. Then it hit him. No – not “Caribou.” The future of mashups. The trail has been blazed. Thanks, Matt.

Matthew’s Celebrity Pixies Tribute (via metafilter)

Today I stumbled across a short movie on Atom Films called “Game Over.” Good stuff.

PES, the guy who made it, has all kinds of other stop-action goodness on his website. Try out “Roof Sex” for a crash course in awesome. “KaBoom!” shreds so hard that it will melt your face off and you won’t even really mind. You owe him your face for making such sweet shit and letting you watch it for free.

I was super surly all day today. I just kind of wanted to go home, you know? I had a crappy salad for lunch, then I sat in the food court and snarled at everyone I saw making snap judgements based on their clothes. Shallow? Maybe. Get bent – I said I was surly, didn’t I? Then I went to work and my boss actually wanted me to do work. The nerve!

So I’m sitting in my chair seething when all of the sudden I end up clicking a link to Brandon Bird’s website. All of the sudden I’m partying with Mr. T and Christopher Walken is building a robot and someone who kind of looks like a really strong version of Abraham Lincoln is beating some dude’s ass and then WHAM! Brain chunks all over my the screen. Brandon Bird, you saved my life.

Thanks, bro.

I could preface this in any number of snarky ways. Most of them would probably start with “I thought regular yoga was retarded, but…” I’m gonna skip all that for brevity’s sake. Instead, use the time you would be using to read a lengthy introduction to go get yourself some paper towels or napkins or something. That way you’ll have something to clean up with after your brain explodes.

(link)