In addition to totally shredding in Russian Circles, Mike Sullivan also has this just sitting in his bedroom like it’s not a big deal at all.

[gv data=”8qCaduejD1k”][/gv]

It is truly a City For All Seasons.

Ever since one of the capsule toy vending machines in the currency exchange by my old apartment offered the possibility of winning a laser pointer, it’s been hard for me to walk past a cluster of them without dropping some cash. Over the course of a year, I probably dumped 10 bucks into that damn thing, coming away instead with a seemingly endless supply of rubber balls and weird keychains that smelled like gasoline for some reason. I would bounce the rubber balls onto the roof of the building immediately, then stare at the keychains with wonder and profound sadness, thinking about the children toiling away on the other side of the world to manufacture these hideous and smelly abominations, all the energy expended to transport them across the ocean and then carry them by truck to every nook and cranny throughout the country, eventually finding their way into a vending machine at a currency exchange by my apartment where I would waste my 50 cents (probably as much as the kid who made them earns in a day) on them, only to instantly chuck them into the trash because, you know – where the fuck is my laser pointer?

Which is all to say that it can be exceedingly difficult, frustrating, and expensive to get what you want out of a toy vending machine. You’re generally better off with the ones full of stickers that say things like “I (Heart) Chocolate!” or “I Go From Zero To Bitch In 2.8 Seconds!” When we walked past a cluster of them last night in the foyer of a taqueria, I guess I wasn’t paying attention – I noticed the Homies machine (not interested – it seems like I always get DevilDog), but I somehow missed the CSI one that Jo was freaking out about. It looked like mostly crime scene tape and fake moustaches, but Jo was intent. She pumped in 50 cents, turned the crank, and got exactly what she wanted.

Evidence.

Me? I got a fake moustache, but whatever – getting evidence from a vending machine rules.

Pop quiz.

You’re a brilliant physicist at some goofy university when all of a sudden you come to the crushing conclusion that you are sick of academia. What do you do?

If you’re Theo Jansen, you hunker down and get to work on “creating a new life-form.” You call them “Beach Animals.” Then you put one on the internet, and a bunch of people way less smart than you are link to it. Then all of their brains asplode.

Be sure to watch the video at the bottom of the thing walking. Then please tell me what the hell it is.

(link – via your daily awesome)

36 years ago there was an epic karate battle 3 blocks away from my current apartment. The man responsible was Count Dante, the self-proclaimed “Deadliest Man Alive.” So frickin’ sweet. Too bad the dojo where it happened is now something called the Total Body Wellness Center, which is significantly less cool than the Black Cobra Hall of Kung Fu. I’m also pretty sure that whatever happens there now (yoga? acupuncture?) is significantly less cool than a bunch of black-belt karate experts raiding a rival dojo and ending up “stabbed in the chest with a saber.” Sigh. My neighborhood used to rule, apparently.

A few weeks ago I posted a link to a video of a guy riding a robot. Maybe you saw it and thought to yourself, “That’s how I want to die.” Well today is your lucky day, my friend – the cleverly titled “ROBOT INDUSTRIAL FANUC S420iW” is up for auction on eBay, albeit with the somewhat-perplexing subtitle “ROBOT RIDE – DO NOT DO THIS!!” From the auction:

“This auction is for a used 1997 FANUC S420iW Industrial robot with RJ-2 Controls in a remote “B” cabinet. This robot has a capacity rating of 346 pounds and was at one time used in a Nissan Motor Plant. It is NOT intended to be a “RIDE” and I do not reccomend [sic] doing so. Fanuc also does NOT support the use of this machine as a “JOY RIDE”. Using this robot in such a manner can be hazardous to your health!!! … Videos of a machine “EXACTLY LIKE THIS ONE” in operation are available ALL OVER THE INTERNET!! Google the words “ROBOT RIDE” and find footage of a robot “EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE I HAVE FOR SALE”!”

Make up your minds, science-jerks!

(link – via bb)

A girl named Alyson Levy (who used to work on Wonder Showzen, apparently) made a short documentary out of footage she shot while visiting a Christian puppet camp. The results will melt your brain. Check it out.

The Hands of God – part 1

The Hands of God – part 2

The Hands of God – part 3

The Hands of God – part 4

Troy Hurtubise, star of the awesome documentary Project Grizzly, has invented a lot of stuff. Bear suits, fire paste, blast cushions, the Angel Light (or “God Light”)… the list goes on and on (not really, actually – it pretty much ends right around there). But these unbelievable (in the truest sense of the word) inventions don’t grow on trees! It takes a lot of money to come up with prototypes for machines that basically perform magic, so it’s no wonder that Ol’ Troy’s a little hard up for cash. Down on his luck, Troy did what anyone else would do – scrounged around his house looking for shit to hock on eBay. Except while most of us usually come up with some shitty old clock (might be rare/antique!) and a handful of scratched ska CDs, Troy found a body armor suit called The Trojan. Bidding is up to $10,000 right now, but if his item description is to be believed, that’s a real steal – the suit supposedly cost $150,000 to develop. It all kind of reminds me of that old saying: one man’s financial ruin is another man’s opportunity to acquire sweet shit.

(via mefi)

Click image for full story, and here for a picture of Jimmy Carter totally flipping out on a boat. (comic via xkcd)