As you’ve probably noticed, things have been awful quiet around these parts. I took a little break in late August that I couldn’t bring myself to end, but then I got an interesting offer: blogging on a regular basis for the recently-redesigned Cracked.com. Part of that redesign includes a new group blog, and I’ll be writing there Monday through Friday for the foreseeable future.

So what about Hypocritical Mass? I think that for the time being, HM is going to be a place for things that don’t fit in at the Cracked Blog. Open letters to abstract concepts, obituaries for people I’ve never heard of, interviews with lunatics… all that good stuff.

I’ll admit it, though: My schedule is not going to let me post here anywhere close to daily. There will definitely be new posts to look out for, though, so be sure to check back occasionally. In the meantime, go check out the Cracked Blog, leave lots of comments and click on all of the banner ads. You’ll probably win a free iPod!

(edit: apparently the direct link to the Cracked Blog doesn’t work. Just click “Blog” on the error page until they get that fixed.)

I gotta tell you guys: I’m pooped.

Summer is winding down, Mario Strikers: Charged is out for Wii and I’m barely using my Blockbuster Online account. Posting has felt a little bit like a chore for me these last few weeks - that’s probably why I haven’t really done it very much lately. I think you know what I’m getting at here.

I’m taking a little break.

I’ll be back in September for more bitching and moaning on a semi-regular basis, but for the rest of August things are going to be pretty dead around here. To tide you over, I’ve put together a little collection of “classic” Hypocritical Mass posts for you to peruse at your leisure while I’m gone. Don’t worry - it’ll only feel like an eternity.

Enjoy the rest of your summer, douchebags!

The Best Of Hypocritical Mass

- The Lockhorns Aren’t As Funny As They Used To Be.

- Shows That Would Exist If I Had My Own Television Network.

- The Second Life Series.

- I Absolutely Adore Credit Card Transactions.

- An Interview With Al Cabino: Sneaker Activist.

- How Slayer Is Celebrating The National Day Of Slayer.

- Quiz: Does He Like Me?

- An Interview With An Actual, Real Life Wizard (Who Made Ten Unicorns).

- The Worst Marketing Campaign Of All Time.

- The Best Patents Of All Time.

- Fuzzy Math & More Fuzzy Math.

- An Open Letter To The Internet Perverts Who Continually Wind Up On My Website By Searching Google For Strange And Filthy Things.

- Six Failed Palindromes.

- Notes On Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Junior.

- It Came From Carrot Top’s Prop Closet.

- Just A Juggalo.

- How I Would Attempt To Cure Infectious Diseases If The Entire History Of Medicine Were Somehow Forgotten And People Started Asking Me To Treat Their Maladies For Some Reason.

- Seven Awesome Animals.

- An Interview With A Guy Who Spent An Unbelievable Amount Of Time, Money, And Energy To Track Down Lane Meyer’s Camaro From Better Off Dead.

- Read Some Things That Rule!

- Read Some Things That Suck!

- Watch Some Cartoons!

- Watch Some Videos!

“Comments On Last Night’s Orgy” is up on Yankee Pot Roast today.

Also, it’s my birthday today. Double-whammy!

If so, you probably won’t think this is funny.

Anonymous on FOX11
beware the internet hate machine.

“Chocolate Rain” Original Song by Tay Zonday
i smell a meme.

What Are you Gonna Do To The Monster?
i’m sorry, but that’s fucking adorable.

Re: Daxflame interviews LisaNova!
this might be a really awesome joke, but i have a feeling that it’s not.

The Fonz And The Honk!
thanks, fonz.

Rap Cat
this is dumb but i still like it.

Zach Galifianakis
heh.

Filipino Prisoners Perform “Thriller”
if you somehow missed this one, catch it now.

Ostrich Skiing - Unbelievably
better than the video: people arguing in the comments over whether or not it’s real.

Louis CK Airline Safety Video
heh.

Slime in the Ice Machine
i don’t know what to say about this.

Jessica The Hippo
i’m pretty sure that’s a terrible idea.

Ghostride The Whip Movie Trailer
is there really 90 minutes worth of shit to say about ghostriding the whip?

“WTF!?: The 8 Strangest Communities on the Web” is up on Cracked.com today. Some of you may have seen this already, but you ain’t never seen it lookin’ so purty.

I have a new article up on Cracked.com today. Go read it.

(article link)

Video game developers: take notes on Rose & Camellia. Your industry needs to realize that you don’t need fancy graphics or a huge development budget to make a great game. You don’t need fantastical creatures with highly detailed 3D models and textures, or realistically rendered explosions, or even an immersive storyline to make a great game. You don’t need rocket launchers or magical powers or addictive multiplayer modes. Apparently, all you really need to make a great game is have two chicks slapping the living crap out of each other. I had no idea.

(via geekologie)

Direct Source Inc has a warehouse chock-full of random crap, and guess what? They want to sell it to you! Do you need a Portable Cap Closet? Maybe a pair of Potato Peeling Gloves? Two different outfits for your dog? Good news: Direct Source Inc has it all, plus more! Be sure to click the pictures for the full views. For example:

Brain asploded.

(via adamriff)