header

Things That Suck: Weekly World News Is Over.
Tuesday July 24th 2007,
Filed under: news, things that suck, media, eulogies

 There’s always been a place in my heart for Weekly World News. When it came to those less-reported stories, there just wasn’t anywhere else to turn. Who broke Bat Boy? When space aliens met with Clinton, who had the gall to report on it? Forget the hip and would-be “radical” rags you find in the anarchist bookstores. For the real scoop, you needed to look no farther than your local grocery checkout line.

But now those days are over. Gone are the days of Bat Boy, Elvis sightings and the world’s fattest baby. When Osama Bin Laden is found - in one of George Bush’s myriad secret homosexual love dens - who is going to report it? Who is going to publish Ed Anger’s latest screeds? NYT? WaPo? I think not, my friends. The Weekly World News is over, and you know what? That really sucks.

Well… kinda. I guess I haven’t actually bought one in like six years.



Bob Evans Was A Real Guy.
Friday June 22nd 2007,
Filed under: news, eulogies


A Eulogy For The Roach That I Killed In My (Apparently) Roach-Infested One-Bedroom Apartment Last Night, Who, In All Likelihood, Has Actually Lived There Longer Than I Have.
Tuesday April 17th 2007,
Filed under: things that suck, eulogies


Stop The Presses: Anna Nicole Smith Is Fucking Dead.
Thursday February 08th 2007,
Filed under: videos, eulogies


A Eulogy For Saparmurat Niyazov, The Former Authoritarian President Of Turkmenistan Who I Had Never Heard Of Until About 10 O’Clock This Morning.
Thursday December 21st 2006,
Filed under: news, politics, stupidity, eulogies