Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going.
Tuesday October 16th 2007, 8:19 pm
Filed under: internet crap,news

As you’ve probably noticed, things have been awful quiet around these parts. I took a little break in late August that I couldn’t bring myself to end, but then I got an interesting offer: blogging on a regular basis for the recently-redesigned Cracked.com. Part of that redesign includes a new group blog, and I’ll be writing there Monday through Friday for the foreseeable future.

So what about Hypocritical Mass? I think that for the time being, HM is going to be a place for things that don’t fit in at the Cracked Blog. Open letters to abstract concepts, obituaries for people I’ve never heard of, interviews with lunatics… all that good stuff.

I’ll admit it, though: My schedule is not going to let me post here anywhere close to daily. There will definitely be new posts to look out for, though, so be sure to check back occasionally. In the meantime, go check out the Cracked Blog, leave lots of comments and click on all of the banner ads. You’ll probably win a free iPod!

(edit: apparently the direct link to the Cracked Blog doesn’t work. Just click “Blog” on the error page until they get that fixed.)

The Visible Taco.
Tuesday October 09th 2007, 9:49 am
Filed under: bizarre,brain exploders,consumer action,food

I am choosing to break weeks of silence for what I feel is a noble cause: to show you quite possibly the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Last Friday when I was waiting at Taco Bell for my chalupas, I noticed something back in the kitchen on top of the nacho station. I had an idea of what it was but couldn’t really believe what I was seeing. I was going to ask one of the employees about it, but there were people waiting in line behind me and I didn’t want to make a big scene. I figured I’d be able to find a picture of it on the internet, but guess what? Multiple searches on Google Images and Flickr turned up absolutely zilch.

I knew then what I had to do: return to Taco Bell the following Monday with a digital camera. Here is the result:

Do you see that thing on top of the “nacho hutch” (my term)? Right in the center? Here’s a closer look:

Uhh… yeah. You’ve heard of the Visible Man before?

That is a Visible Taco.

So many questions! For starters, what about every other item on the menu, almost all of which are more complicated? What about the Grilled Stuft Burrito? What about Nachos Bellgrande? What about Mexican Pizza?! The Visible Taco is a good place to start, but on its own its completely worthless.

Seriously, though – can somebody please tell me why this exists?