A Very Specific Apology Letter.
Monday August 13th 2007, 10:05 am
Filed under: photoshop fun

Cliffs Notes On R. Kelly’s “The Zoo.”
Wednesday July 25th 2007, 8:12 am
Filed under: internet crap,jokes,music,photoshop fun

I have a new article up on Cracked.com today. Go read it.

(article link)

What I Can Make With An $1800 Software Suite.
Friday April 20th 2007, 9:51 am
Filed under: flash,photoshop fun,stupidity

Cliffs Notes On The Karate Kid.
Wednesday March 21st 2007, 10:46 am
Filed under: guides,internet crap,jokes,photoshop fun,writing

New article up on Cracked today. That’s all.

Thought Of The Day.
Tuesday March 06th 2007, 10:37 am
Filed under: photoshop fun,stupidity

It’s ironic that Africa is kind of shaped like a giant t-bone steak.

More Fuzzy Math.
Friday February 09th 2007, 3:59 pm
Filed under: brain exploders,photoshop fun


Fuzzy Math.
Monday February 05th 2007, 2:05 pm
Filed under: brain exploders,photoshop fun

New Article Up On Cracked.com.
Thursday January 18th 2007, 9:05 am
Filed under: internet crap,music,photoshop fun

An updated and expanded version of “Cliffs Notes on Mystikal’s Pussy Crook” is up today at Cracked.com (direct link). It looks awesome – check it out.

The New Hard Rock Employee Handbook.
Thursday December 07th 2006, 3:35 pm
Filed under: news,photoshop fun

 As you may have heard, the Hard Rock restaurant, hotel, and casino chain has been acquired by the Seminole Tribe for $965 million. As such, the company’s operations stand to change dramatically over the next few months. Here’s a small sampling of what’s to come, according to a trusted and reliable Seminole insider. Seriously.


– Employees will now be paid in blankets and liquor.

– Full-time employees will have the opportunity to trade all of their earned blankets and liquor within any two-week pay period for ownership of Manhattan Island, which can then be sold back to Hard Rock management for $24.

– Chief Planted Bush want raise.


FASHION DO: Tight pants, sleeveless shirts. “Rock n’ roll” attitude.

FASHION DON’T: Headdresses, hides. Anything “Indianish.”

FASHION DO: Korn t-shirt.

FASHION DON’T: “You Slaughtered My People And Robbed Us Of Our Land” t-shirt.

FASHION DO: Tattoos of skulls, roses.

FASHION DON’T: Tattoos of weird tribal birds, American Indians.




New food items to be served at all Hard Rock Cafe locations include the following:

– Holy Moley Seminoley Guacamole

– Tomahawk Taco Tots

– Antiquated Way Of Life JalapeƱo Poppers

– Peace Piperific Pizza Tubes

– Trail Of Tears Spicy Buffalo Wings


New customer service standards will be implemented beginning January 1, 2007. We like to call them the “CARE” Plan – just follow four simple rules:

CCREATE a pleasant atmosphere for the customer!

AAVOID bringing up the fact that the colonization of North America completely decimated an entire race of people!

RREMEMBER to refill those drinks!

EEMPHASIZE the gift shop!

Dave Was There.
Friday October 27th 2006, 9:27 am
Filed under: bizarre,brain exploders,photoshop fun

I found this jpg on a backup CD I was digging through. And just think: It could have been lost forever! Thank God I backed it up!