Tuesday August 21st 2007,
Filed under: internet crap
I gotta tell you guys: I’m pooped.
Summer is winding down, Mario Strikers: Charged is out for Wii and I’m barely using my Blockbuster Online account. Posting has felt a little bit like a chore for me these last few weeks - that’s probably why I haven’t really done it very much lately. I think you know what I’m getting at here.
I’m taking a little break.
I’ll be back in September for more bitching and moaning on a semi-regular basis, but for the rest of August things are going to be pretty dead around here. To tide you over, I’ve put together a little collection of “classic” Hypocritical Mass posts for you to peruse at your leisure while I’m gone. Don’t worry - it’ll only feel like an eternity.
An incomplete list of the topics discussed includes:
- What sucks in Singapore?
- If given the choice, which would you do: give your dad a handjob or murder him?
- What to do when your mom gets a breast reduction
- What gay people do
- KKK vs. Terrorists: Who’s tougher?
- Judging a book its cover
- Ironic T-shirts
And just for your reference, the book cover in question is this one:
Enjoy, and feel free to send questions, comments, glowing praise and/or death threats to ross [at] hypocriticalmass.org.
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when Chicago was the meat capital of the world. Those days are over, but there are still a few stragglers around if you know where to look for them.
Yesterday we were hanging out at a bar, minding our own business, when we noticed a guy in the corner wearing a butcher’s outfit with a huge package of sausages tucked under his arm. He went around the bar from table to table, asking if people wanted any meat. It sort of seemed like some kind of weird performance art for a minute, but we soon realized the guy was dead serious and had a refrigerated truck parked outside. Some drunk guy held a bag over his head and started chanting “20 DOLLARS OF MEAT!” Within a half hour we had 20 bucks out on the table, and a few minutes after that it was gone, replaced by - surprise, surprise - a huge bag of meat.
There was also a menu in the bag, which I’d like to share with you. Of the 48 products listed below, 20 contain references to buttholes. Also of note: “Hot And Creamy Sex Candles,” a Monica Lewinsky joke, and something called “GI Joe’s Candyass Salsa Whoopass Wimpy!” Oh - and a “Sausage Emergency Number.” Ya’ll ready for this?
Apologies for the lousy headline, but I was so excited to get a link up to these pictures of Terminators boning each other that I just couldn’t help myself.
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