Bad news, ladies: The following costumes at halloweenmart.com are sold out:

- Sexy Pirate Wench

- Sexy Bee

- Sexy Firefighter

- Sexy Gangster Moll (note: with an alternate meaning of the word “moll” the name of this costume could technically be “Sexy Gangster Prostitute,” which totally fucking rules.)

- Sexy Delegate

It’s true: The demand for Sexy Delegate costumes was greater than halloweenmart.com’s supply of them this year, but don’t worry! There are still plenty of totally sexy costumes available on the market! Consider one of the following:

- Sexy Notary Public

- Sexy Homeless Person

- Sexy Wilford Brimley

- Sexy Foreign Exchange Student With Little Or No Understanding Of American Halloween Customs

- Sexy Teenager With Low Self Esteem

- Sexy Holocaust Survivor

- Sexy Girl With Basically Nothing Else Going For Her Except For Her Sexiness

- Sexy Tuba Player

- Sexy Burn Victim

- Sexy Girl At The Halloween Party Who Looks Like She’d Be Really Easy To Bone